The Wildfire nervously slipped through the door, wincing as the hinges creaked indiscreetly. The chapel was lit only by the sunlight glinting through the fogged glass windows, highlighting the dust slowly floating through the air. Wooden pews in two neat rows faced a simple wooden table, and a wooden cross hung on the back wall. Thankfully for her, the room was completely empty.
She bit her lip as she continued inside, closing the door behind her. She stepped carefully down the center aisle with her eyes focused on the cross. If it weren’t for her blue blouse, she would have blended into the shadows with her black boots and pants.
She had listened to the passages that William read each night, but her knowledge of God was still severely lacking. Standing within the chapel only highlighted her ignorance as she found herself uncertain of what to do. All she knew was Carla sought his presence when she felt lost, and that she had been coaxed by William to do the same.
She slipped into the second pew to the left of the cross, sitting down on the wooden bench beside a Bible. She took a deep breath and returned her eyes to the cross.
“Well, I’m here,” she spoke aloud, albeit quietly, “and, I guess I need help.”
She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “I’m not sure what I’m doing, or if I’m doing this right. But I’m... lost. And I’m alone,” she swallowed painfully. “And I’ve done something wrong... something very wrong.”
She looked up again. “But I’m trying to do good; I’ve been helping people. I was able to protect the town twice from the beasts. I’m killing the beasts to do it... but the people are safe. Is that still good? Is that enough?”
She huffed a heavy sigh. “I’ve been told if I believed in you and followed you, you would forgive me,” her eyes drifted aside. “But I can’t see how. If you’re all knowing, then you know what I’ve done. You know I made a choice and...” She shuddered and slumped forward again. “Why would you ever forgive someone like me...? Why would you care about someone like me? I barely know who you are...”
The Wildfire moaned and pressed her head against the pew in front of her. She remained in place for some time, her mind racing with a million thoughts as her eyes focused beyond the floor.
The door squealed behind her.
She gasped and bolted upright.
To her surprise, William was coming down the aisle. His smile was warm as he offered kindly, “I’m sorry to startle you, but I’m glad to see you.”
She slumped down to her knees and clasped her hands in her lap, looking up at the town doctor as he lingered near the end of the pew.
“Is everything all right?” He asked.
She bit her lip, unable to speak.
William tilted his head. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I’m not sure.”
He slipped into the pew across the aisle from her and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, matching her stance to remain at her eye level. “Well, if I had to guess, you’re feeling more than a little overwhelmed right now.”
“That’s an understatement,” she muttered.
“But, you’ve come to the right place,” he smiled at her, “and I suppose I’ve come to work on my sermon at just the right time.”
“Your what?” She blinked.
“Among other things, I’m also the town preacher. Awfully coincidental, considering my duties are to heal people physically as well as spiritually.”
She turned her head aside in thought.
“Now, you can keep the answer as vague as you’d like, but what’s a big fear you have right now?”
Her brows furrowed. “Just... that I’m lost in the universe; that I’m stranded here with no way out—but I have nowhere to go even if I could. Not after what I’ve done...”
“What you’ve done?” He repeated.
She felt a lump in her throat. She pinched her lips together to hold it back, and she resorted to shaking her head when she was unable to answer audibly.
“That does make things seem hopeless, doesn’t it,” he murmured in sympathy.
She let her head droop as she leaned more heavily on her knees.
“But the good thing is,” he raised a finger, “things are never hopeless. Why don’t you read Isaiah forty-three on your own,” the preacher suggested, gesturing to the Bible at her side. “That may be a good place for you to start. And I’ll be right back here if you need anything. I’ll be meeting with Hudson soon, but don’t let us bother you.”
“Hudson?”
He nodded. “I’ve been helping him study, too. He’s had his own troubles to work through; and not unlike you, he tends to be a bit hard on himself. But he’s strong in his faith.” He smiled lightly. “Maybe one day, the two of you could study and help each other.”
She didn’t move or answer him; she only let her eyes wander somewhere between William and the floor.
William stepped around the edge of the pew and relocated to the back of the room. He laid out a tablet of paper and his brown leather Bible in his lap and began to work.
The Wildfire sat back against the pew and lifted the Bible. She flipped through the pages aimlessly until discovering the name of the prophet at the top corner of the pages. She turned to the proper chapter and held the book within her hands, keeping the page pinched between finger and thumb.
But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.
She paused to grasp one of her arms, brows furrowed as her eyes remained on the page.
Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, and from the west I will gather you. I will say to the north, ‘Give up,’ and to the south, ‘Do not withhold; bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth, everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.
She had to stop as tears blocked her vision. When she looked down, she skimmed ahead.
I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.
She set the book into her lap and arched her back against the pew.
Why was she crying?
Because there was someone out in the universe who still cared about her. Someone who would find her, no matter how lost she was. Someone who knew her by name.
Or was it because she knew such a being could never accept her and what she had done? How could he blot out her sins?
She shut the Bible and stood up suddenly. She passed a worried William on her way out as the door creaked loudly in her wake.
The Wildfire entered the medical ward through the side door and trudged down the hall to her bed. She offered a weak smile and wave to Ms. Kirkland as the woman glanced up from her book, and she ducked behind her privacy curtain before anyone else could notice her.
“Oh—you’re here!” Lillith poked her head into the room from the office. “Do you think you could give me a hand?”
The Wildfire slowly straightened her posture, peering around the curtain. Despite her obvious hesitance and wearied gaze, she nodded her head without a word.
The nurse bit her lip and offered a delicate point to the sink near The Wildfire’s bed. “Could you just... pass me that otoscope?” She paused when she noticed several other instruments. “Um, it’s the black one with the thin tip for looking inside someone’s ear.”
As she stepped around the curtain, she found the requested instrument and noticed the stethoscope curled up beside it. She carried both into the office where the nurse was now kneeling beside her patient’s chair.
“Your throat does seem a little swollen, Mrs. Johnson,” she said as she removed the wooden tongue depressor. She turned to The Wildfire and accepted the otoscope with a smile. “Thank you, ma’am.”
Before she could retreat, she assisted in rolling the metal cart closer to Lillith when she noticed the woman trying to juggle the scope and depressor in her hands. Another haggard, yet grateful smile returned as she set down the depressor and turned to inspect Mrs. Johnson’s ears.
“Ears are okay. Oh—could you grab me the stethoscope?”
Without a word, The Wildfire handed it to her.
“You may have this down better than me,” she huffed through a grin.
“Is she your new trainee?” Mrs. Johnson asked nasally, nodding to the Wildfire.
“Oh, no; she’s just kind enough to lend me a hand. But speaking of trainees, Carla should have been here by now; it’s not like her to be late.” Her dark eyes shifted aside before they refocused on her patient. “Deep breath, please,” she rested the stethoscope on Mrs. Johnson’s back as the older woman attempted to breathe through her stuffy nose.
The Wildfire glanced out the window as Lillith continued. Carla was always incredibly prompt to join Lillith’s shift. For a moment, she felt a pang of worry that a beast could be involved.
“Your lungs sound all right too,” Lillith looped the stethoscope around her neck and offered a smile, “I think you may just have a head cold and some sinus drainage. Drink plenty of fluids and try to stock up on some oranges at the next market—Thaddeus had quite the haul last week!”
“He was able to gather from his orchard?” Mrs. Johnson sniffled as she got back to her feet. “That’s surprising.”
“Someone said it’s because the beasts are holding off thanks to Westfall’s Wildfire,” the nurse smirked.
The Wildfire paused from wiping down the otoscope.
“And here she is, helping you out,” the smile rubbed off on Mrs. Johnson. “She’s becoming quite the asset.”
The woman’s lips tugged as she turned back to the cart and set down the scope.
“We are blessed she’s here. Now you come back if it gets any worse, all right?”
“I will. Thank you, Ms. Lillith.”
Lillith then joined The Wildfire at the cart as Mrs. Johnson shuffled out the office door.
“I got the otoscope cleaned and I can wash this and the other rags now,” she mentioned with a thumb over her shoulder.
“Well! You catch on quick,” Lillith chuckled. “I may have to hire you on full time.”
The Wildfire smirked with her eyebrow raised in sarcasm. “I’m not sure I’m best suited for this sort of thing normally.”
“You’re not exactly shy around blood and guts,” the nurse then threw up her hands, “just sayin’.”
Her smirk widened. “That’s different. I don’t think I could handle a human...” She trailed off as she remembered slicing through Reynolds’ wrist and striking Bishop with her blaster.
A brief rapping on the door revealed a dusty man in overalls. “Dr. William?” Hudson peeked inside. “Oh, hi Ms. Lillith. Hi Ms. Wildfire,” he nodded to the two women in the room. “You’re actually exactly who I was needin’ to see,” he turned to the latter and grasped his hands together. “Paw and I got your loft ready!”
Her breath caught as a pang of despair struck her stomach.
“Oh, that’s great,” Lillith piped in long before The Wildfire could find words. “You finally won’t need to get bothered by what’s going on in here,” she chuckled. Her smile soured when she noticed the woman beside her had paled.
“That... that is great,” she managed to speak at last, feigning a pressed smile, “thank you.”
Hudson rocked on his feet, smiling proudly. “Whenever you’re ready, I can show you around. I’m pretty proud of how well the place cleaned up.”
She nodded, still maintaining her composure despite immeasurable dread darkening her mind. A home meant permanence; she did not want permanence.
But did she even have a choice?
The door behind Hudson flew open so quickly, he was struck in the back.
“Guess what!!” Carla shrieked exuberantly.
Hudson had muttered apologies and ducked aside, Lillith’s eyes were wide and her expression bordered on annoyance, and The Wildfire’s smile had promptly decompressed into a confused frown.
Once all three pairs of eyes had found her, the girl’s toothy grin flared and she threw out her left hand. “Thomas and me are engaged!!”
Lillith’s eyes bugged as she caught the glimmer of Carla’s new golden ring. “Oh! Oh—my! Congratulations!” She paused. “Does your momma know?”
“Hey, that’s some great news, Miss Richardson,” Hudson grinned.
The Wildfire couldn’t speak. She could only watch the bubbling bride-to-be flash her smile and her engagement ring as the sinking feeling in her stomach plummeted further. Her brows twitched as the feeling twisted into envy.
That could have been her. She could have been living out her days with The Doctor—not stranded on a planet with the weight of hundreds of deaths upon her shoulders.
Her breath again caught in her chest. It was her fault she was where she was; it was her fault because she ran away. She ran away and left everyone, including The Doctor, behind—and then, she was an easy target for capture.
If she hadn’t run away, that could have been her.
She turned silently and slipped out of the room while the others continued their discussions inaudibly behind her.
- - -
William entered the room to give his patients one last check-up before turning in for the night. The fading sunlight cast the room in an eerie blue glow, contrasting the small oil lamp Geoffrey had lit to read. Even behind the thin curtains used between the beds to offer minimal privacy, the warm glow could be seen.
“Mr. Hennessey, do you need anything else?” The man stepped up to his bed.
Mr. Hennessey glanced up from his book. “Bourbon.”
“Of course,” William adjusted the glasses on his nose as he peeked around the next curtain. “How about you Ms. Kirkland?”
Ms. Kirkland offered a light snore.
“Ah, hope you rest well, then,” he patted the edge of the bed softly. “Ms. Wildfire?”
He froze. His eyes fell upon an empty bed with a stuffed dog sitting against the pillows.
“Oh, she ran out a while ago,” Mr. Hennessey offered casually.
William took a step back as his eyes flew to the door. The Wildfire was not in the right state of mind to be running off. He shot back to his office and grabbed the phone, almost yanking the cord from the base in his haste. His fingers scrolled through the rotary dial as he glanced repeatedly toward the window. “Lillith!” He said when the woman answered the call. “Lillith, I need you to take over up here; I have an urgent matter to attend to!”
“Is it The Wildfire?” She asked.
He swallowed. “Yes.”
“I’m on my way.”
“Thank you, Lillith.” He hung up. He rushed into his bedroom and pulled a pistol from the end table. He winced at its potential necessity and slipped it into the back of his waistband.
When Lillith arrived, she hadn’t even reached the door before William darted off the doorstep. “Thank you!” He called as he took off down the street.
The nurse offered a smile, running a hand through her curls as she stepped into the office.
William huffed as he darted through the streets of town, uncertain where The Wildfire could have run off too. Thankfully for him, smoke rising from the woods north of town quickly alerted him of her presence, and he honed in on its direction.
Sufficiently out of breath, he walked as briskly as possible as he followed the dying embers strewn across the forest floor. Twice he met the glow in the yellow eyes of frightened beasts, but they darted away almost as quickly. Without the beasts to fear, his worries instead shifted to losing her trail; the embers of her flames had died out, leaving him standing in an ever-darkening forest.
A painful scream from the clearing up ahead redirected him. He bit his lip and hurried towards the sound.
The clearing was a wide stretch of land looking out across a deep valley. Dark mountains rose from the other side as the blue light of dusk faded behind them, and it was there he found The Wildfire. She was surrounded by dying flames, throwing embers that flickered and popped in the air. Her arms were balled against her chest, and her legs were tucked beneath her as she rocked on her knees. She looked up, and the star-filled sky reflected in the goggles pressed up on her forehead. She shouted at the top of her lungs as tears streamed down her cheeks.
“Where are you?!” She cried pitifully. “Doctor, where are you??” She wheezed in a breath, rolling forward over her knees. “You always find me,” she whimpered. “Please—I need you—why can’t you find me?!”
She uttered something resembling words as William slowly approached her. “Wildfire,” he called gently.
Her gasp heaved as she whipped her head over her shoulder.
William was crouched down with his hands out. “I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said calmly.
Her eyes were pink and swollen as she looked at Westfall’s resident doctor and preacher. Her cheeks were wet, and her mouth hung open as she gasped for air. A floating ember burned into her bare arm, and, just as quickly, the wound faded into a pink scar.
“Come here,” William tried, crouching to his knees and holding his arms wider. “You’re all right.”
She sniffed and swallowed. Her form began to tremble as she saw the older man’s arms spread wide, ready to accept her. She clenched her teeth and pushed herself from the ground. She staggered a few steps until she fell into William’s arms. The sobs started again as she buried her face in his vest.
“There,” his voice was warm as he held his arms around her back protectively. “It’s all right.” He noticed the burns on her arms had already disappeared.
She moaned through her cries for a moment longer, clinging to William’s vest as if to never let go.
His eyes strayed to the forest behind them. “It’s not the safest out here, and it’s getting dark,” he took her by the shoulders to make eye contact. “Will you come with me?”
Her green eyes held firm upon the blue of his own. Shuddering through a residual sob, she nodded.
Chapter Notes