A Christmace Carol

A Tale of Ace Gallagher Parody of the Classic Charles Dickens Story
by Jill D'Entremont

It's a Wonderful Christmas by Michael W. Smith

Chapter VI: A New Christmas Day

Scrooge hits the ground hard, holding a gathering of cloth in his clenched hands. Shaken, he looks up. He holds the edge of his bed curtain, and he lays sprawled on the floor of his own bedchamber.

SCROOGE
My—my curtains!! My bed!

He gets up with a start, laying his hands on his bed as if to steady himself.

SCROOGE
It’s all still here! My blanket too! Oh, Vance Edwards, the Christmas Spirit, and God be praised for this!

He clamps his hands over his mouth, shifting from side to side.

SCROOGE
I—I don't know what to do! I feel like I’m as light as a feather—as carefree as a schoolboy! I need to change—and I need to start now! I need to wish a Merry Christmas to everybody! And a happy New Year to all the world!

He almost dances over to the window and flings it open. He takes in a deep breath, feeling the cold air filling his lungs as the warmth of the sun shines upon on his face.

SCROOGE
Daylight! It’s morning! But... Ah—my lady! Yes! You!

A young woman with long black hair stops her journey down the street to glance up at him.

SCROOGE
What day is it?

RAEYA
Why, it’s Christmas day, sir.

SCROOGE
Christmas day! I haven’t missed it! The spirits did it all in one night! Why—of course they did! They’re spirits—they can do whatever they want!

RAEYA
...Excuse me?

SCROOGE
Tell me, my lady: is the prized turkey still in the butcher’s window?

RAEYA
Indeed, it is.

SCROOGE
Great! Go buy it for me!

RAEYA
What?? I’ve got a family of my own to feed!

Scrooge leaves the window for only a moment, and he returns with a moneybag in hand. He tosses it down to the woman with a grin. The woman’s gray eyes widen as the very full moneybag jingles in her hands.

SCROOGE
There should be a little extra in there for you and your family, too! Now go on! Buy me that turkey before someone else does!

RAEYA
Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!

As the woman hurries back to the town square, Scrooge turns back inside and dresses himself quickly. He emerges from his closet moments later in his black cloak and hat and a bright red scarf tied about his neck. He turns to his door to unlatch it, pausing to recall the events of the night before.

SCROOGE
Vance came through here. Vance, my dear brother, came through here to help me. And he did help me.

He unlatches his door and darts across the hall to peer into the unused bedroom. It is empty and lifeless.

SCROOGE
Ah, I can’t see you now, but I know you’re here, Christmas Spirit. Welcome to Fortanya, and Merry Christmas to you!

He laughs heartily and bounds down the stairs—and promptly pauses to catch his breath—before opening the front door. The narrator stands outside, smiling as Scrooge bursts onto his stoop and laughs again.

MIOKO
Really, for a man who had been out of practice for so many years, it was a splendid laugh, a most illustrious laugh!

SCROOGE
I'll send the bird to the Harleys... but I won’t tell them who sent it. My goodness, that turkey’s nearly the size of little Ava!

The woman is back in a matter of moments with one of the deliverymen holding the magnificent Christmas turkey. Scrooge directs them to the Harley residence and begins to follow along, but he soon finds himself on a long detour through the town square.

Carolers sing on the street corner nearby. A little boy runs happily through the streets with a new toy whistle as his parents walk behind hand in hand. And all the while, Scrooge grins, filled with happiness. Soon, be begins to dart to and fro through the square: tossing snow into the air, joining in with one of the caroling groups, and dancing through the slushy streets. To each who pass him, he extends a warm greeting. Many who recognize him cannot believe they are seeing Scrooge Edwards with such an exuberance of Christmas spirit.

Two in particular walking just ahead of him had not yet noticed the source of the town’s joyful confusion. Scrooge immediately recognizes them as the charity collectors from the day before, and, just as quickly, he finds his legs freezing beneath him.

MIOKO
It sent a pang across his heart to think how these men would look upon him when they met; but he knew what path lay straight before him, and he took it.

SCROOGE
Gentlemen!

The Kalgaran men back away as Scrooge steps up to them.

HUBERTO
...Mister Scrooge?

SCROOGE
Yes, it’s me. And, please, let me apologize for my actions yesterday... I want to make it up to you.

HUBERTO
Oh, no trouble, Sir; we didn’t mean to bother—

SCROOGE
No, no—I insist. You are from the church here in town? This fund will be used wisely and well?

MATTHEW
Yes, sir, of course!

SCROOGE
Good man! I want you to put me down for a donation.

Scrooge bends down to the younger of the two men and whispers in his ear. At once, Matthew’s eyes grow wide and he gasps as if he lost his breath.

MATTHEW
Mister Scrooge!! Are you serious??

SCROOGE
Not a single coin less. There’s a great deal of back-payment in that amount, you know. Stop by my counting house tomorrow and I’ll have that arranged for you.

HUBERTO
Mister Scrooge, thank you!

SCROOGE
Please, call me Steven. That name... that’s one thing I’m ready to leave in the past.

MATTHEW
God bless you, Steven Edwards!

STEVEN
God bless you too! And Merry Christmas!

MIOKO
From there, Steven went to church and continued to walk about the streets. He watched the people hurrying to and fro, patted children on the head, questioned beggars, looked into shop windows, and found that everything could yield him pleasure. He had never dreamed that any walk—that anything—could give him so much happiness.

Steven continues happily down the road, remembering another stop he needed to make. Soon, he approaches his nephew’s modest flat.

MIOKO
In the afternoon, he turned his steps towards his nephew’s house. He passed the door a dozen times, before he had the courage to go up and knock. But he made a dash, and did it.

Grimacing with teeth clenched and eyebrows skewed, Steven knocks on the door. The door is opened soon after, and Amadeus seems shocked to see his uncle at his doorstep.

AMADEUS
Uncle Scrooge??

The older man presses his lips together embarrassedly, but he straightens his posture and nods.

STEVEN
Merry Christmas, Amadeus.

AMADEUS
Well, what a Merry Christmas this is! I’ll be honest; I’m not sure what to say at this point!

He bows his head, frowning in repentance.

STEVEN
Just say you’ll still have me over for dinner on this fine Christmas day. And... please say you’ll forgive me for my years of not knowing what I’ve truly had...

AMADEUS
Of course, Uncle! Of course!

The two embrace warmly. Behind them, Amadeus’ wife Clara stands with a baffled expression. As they part, a proud smile makes it way to Steven’s lips.

STEVEN
You are your father’s boy. And, I am so grateful he left behind more than just memories.

AMADEUS
Aw, Uncle Scrooge, you’re gonna make me tear up...

STEVEN
No—No more “Scrooge;” just Steven now.

Clara appears at Amadeus’ side, extending her hand towards her uncle by marriage.

CLARA
Uncle Steven, it’s a pleasure to see you here on our doorstep. We will be blessed to have you attend.

STEVEN
I can’t wait! I hear you’re making a fine dinner!

Clara glances at Amadeus, but the young man shrugs.

STEVEN
I’ll be back—I’ve one last thing to take care of. Save me a seat!

He rushes away from Amadeus and Clara’s home and starts back towards the Harleys’ humble abode. A great deal of footprints are left in the snow outside his doorstep—they were surely from the delivery of the turkey that morning. Scrooge chuckles, imagining the faces on Ava, James, and Elise as they were presented with the enormous bird.

Clearing his throat, his smile turns down and he puts on his usual scoff. He knocks hard on the door and then returns his clenched fist to his pocket. The door opens, and the wide smile across James’ face instantly fades to a look of dismay.

JAMES
Mister Scrooge?

STEVEN
Harley, you were not at work this morning.

JAMES
B-b-but—but Mister Scrooge, we—you gave me the day off!

STEVEN
Does that sound like something I would do??

JAMES
N-no—no, but—

STEVEN
I am not going to stand for this any longer! I—

Elise Harley runs out quickly, nearly shoving her husband aside.

ELISE
I’ll tell you what we’ll not stand for any longer!!

JAMES
Elise!

ELISE
Day in and day out, for years, my husband has worked tirelessly for you!

STEVEN
Therefore, James Harley—

ELISE
He has sacrificed so much for so little—he has worked his fingers to the bone—

STEVEN
Therefore, James Harley, I am going to raise your salary!

ELISE
And you never—what?

JAMES
...Raise?

Steven’s solemn expression warms into a smile.

STEVEN
Yes, James, a raise. And listen; I know I have not treated you the way you should be treated. Your loyalty to Edwards Brothers—and to me—has not gone unnoticed, but it has certainly not been acknowledged. I want to make it up you, starting today.

JAMES
Oh, Mister Scrooge...

Steven raises a hand.

STEVEN
Steven. Please call me Steven. And I’m very sorry for upsetting you, my lady.

ELISE
I’m sorry, too. That was uncalled for...

STEVEN
No, ma’am. You had every right to be angry. But, I promise I will do better now.

Steven turns to his clerk and offers a short bow.

STEVEN
Merry Christmas to you, James.

JAMES
Thank you, Steven. Merry Christmas!

And then, a young girl peeks out from behind James’ legs. The humbled businessman kneels down to reach her level.

STEVEN
Ah, and who is this young princess?

AVA
My name is Ava.

James steps aside and gently holds his hand against his daughter’s back. She hobbles on her crutch until her smiling face is mere inches from Steven’s.

STEVEN
Hello there, Ava. Merry Christmas!

AVA
Merry Christmas, Mister Steven!

STEVEN
What are you up to today? Did you go to church?

AVA
I did! And now we’re about to eat!

STEVEN
My word, it sure does smell good in there! What is your dear mother cooking up?

AVA
A really big Christmas turkey!

STEVEN
Where did you get that?

Ava giggles and shakes her head as Steven nudges the young girl playfully.

AVA
I didn’t get it! Someone gave it to us!

Steven stands up and grins at James and Elise before looking to Ava one last time.

STEVEN
A gift, then! I do believe that will not be the last of the gifts you and your family will receive...

As he turns to walk down the road with a cheerful grin, James and Elise exchange glances. With wide eyes, they both look back at Steven. James begins to laugh, and he lifts Ava into his arms happily as Elise wraps her arms around them both.

Mioko stands beneath the street lamp at the corner, and Steven nods to him as he passes.

STEVEN
Merry Christmas, sir!

MIOKO
Merry Christmas!

The narrator waves, chuckling.

MIOKO
Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more. And to little Ava, who did not die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend and as good a man as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough in the good old world. Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh. His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.

Mioko steps away from the street lamp and looks down the street happily; Steven Edwards is still in view a few houses down, waving to a group of carolers.

MIOKO
Scrooge had no further encounters with Spirits, but lived upon the joy of Christmas all year round. And it was always said of him that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Ava Harley observed...

ALL
God bless us, every one!

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