Trust

A "Westfall" Snippet by Jill D'Entremont

Sleep came slowly for Gemini. The ground wasn't terribly uncomfortable, but, even wrapped within the warmth of her sleeping bag, it was far from the comfort of a bed. She wasn't worried or anxious about the trip, but a twinge of longing began to creep into her mind. She had expected to miss Hudson to some degree, yet it was still surprising to find the simple increase in distance was enough to bring about the feeling in full.

Eventually, she and the others finally drifted into quiet slumber.

That is, until a jarring cry broke the silence.

Gemini gasped awake and pushed up on her elbows as Victor grunted and turned over in half-asleep confusion. Randall winced and lifted his head, eyes darting across the camp.

Thomas railed another shout into the air.

"Thomas!" Gemini called, but he only continued wailing. She kicked through her sleeping bag and climbed to his side. "Thomas," she said as she forcibly shook his shoulders. "Wake up!"

The young man choked on his cry as he gasped in air. His eyes flew open, only to squash shut as he threw his arm over his face, hissing a painful breath through his teeth.

"It's okay," Gemini tried again, keeping her arm on his shoulder while the fingers of his other hand clenched her wrist. "You're all right."

He rocked his head from side to side beneath his arm, shuddering through stifled sobs. Gemini could feel his body trembling as he struggled to regain his composure.

"Is he hurt?" Randall attempted to sit up, blinking to get a better view of the situation despite the darkness of the camp.

"Were you having a nightmare?" She asked carefully.

He pursed his lips, bristling his tan moustache. He exhaled sharply and got up so abruptly that Gemini had to shrink back to avoid being struck.

Her brows lowered as she watched him shove his feet into his boots and walk away from the camp. 

Behind her, Victor sighed loudly and rolled over. Randall scratched his head and tried to resettle.

Gemini retrieved her glasses from her hat, slipped on her own boots, and followed after Thomas.

A sliver of moonlight, along with more awakened eyes, aided Gemini's task of locating the blond-haired man as he came to a stop in the wide expanse. The ground seemed cold and blue beneath his boots.

Before settling in, the team reiterated their need to be ready to move at any moment—though Gemini had not expected the moment would be their usually steadfast mayor having a night terror. She approached him slowly, allowing the crunching of the grass to alert him of her presence.

"Go back to camp," he commanded, his eyes focused straight ahead.

"No."

She could hear him exhale, yet he did not turn to meet her as she stopped at his side. "This ain't how yeh ought'a see me," he uttered more as a breath than a word.

"And why not?" She raised an eyebrow. "Is having a nightmare not something a mayor does?"

She garnered a mildly disgruntled glance in her direction.

She slipped one of her hands to her elbow, looking out into the dark field spread before them. "I've had my share of them; I understand."

He let his head droop a bit. "I hadn't had one in quite a while," he finally spoke. "But, before I fell asleep... I just kept... thinkin'..."

She tilted her head to try to get a better look at his face.  "About what?" She asked, unsure if the man would answer.

He did not. He only puffed a breath through his nose and shook his head.

She glanced down at her arms before joining his gaze out toward the flat expanse before them. "I never have told you exactly how I got away from ORBIT."

This time, she got his attention. "No, but... I know yeh weren't keen on it."

Her eyes rose to the star-filled sky. "Because I escaped by killing everyone."

The words were so sudden and so blunt, Thomas almost missed what she had said. His head popped up, his eyes grew wide, and he turned his entire body to face her. "Wh..." he tried to speak.

She tightened her grip on her elbow. "They were holding me hostage, and I was tired of their abuse. I set their base to explode and got out on an escape pod—the same one I crashed in here." She met his stunned eyes. "But I am the one who pulled the trigger."

Thomas seemed troubled, finding it hard to know where to focus. His eyes darted to the ground, to the sky, and to points beyond before returning to her. "You... killed?"

"I can't excuse it, no matter the reasons I thought—at the time—had justified my actions," Gemini sighed, wrapping both arms at her chest. "I was so ashamed of what I had done, and all those feelings resurfaced in my dreams. I'd relive it all: the guilt, the pain... and the unbearable feeling of hopelessness."

The man's shocked expression was slowly softening with understanding.

Her eyes again reconnected with his, "I guess what I'm trying to say is, sometimes, things we try to suppress have a way of coming back to haunt us."

Thomas' eyes narrowed on her as a frown tugged down his lips. "What I have," he finally admitted, "ain't dreams about things... just feelin's. Intense feelin's—so strong, I can't get out of 'em. Carla's gotta shake me loose," he made a face, "or, in tonight's case, you."

Gemini remained quiet as Thomas' eyes narrowed further. She could hear the pain resurfacing in his voice, much like the cries he had uttered in the camp.

His expression rapidly became a painful grimace. "There's just... so much!" He hissed through his teeth. "So much I gotta do! So much I gotta handle! And then fittin' Carla into it all..."

It was her turn to frown, though the frown shifted to concern when his expression grew horrified.

"Oh—gosh—I don't want it to sound like that—I don't mean it like that," his words were distressed as he tried to continue speaking, flinging up a hand as if he could wave away his words.

"Hey," she offered lightly as she put her hand on his back to steady him.

"Carla's—she's the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I just made it sound like I'm barely fittin' 'er into my life!" His eyes stung with hot tears. "No—she deserves so much; she deserves everything I can't give her! I can't even give 'er children!"

"Thomas," she she pleaded as he all but doubled over.

"An' here I am, goin' days without her..." he shrugged out of her grasp and only half-straightened his posture. “What kinda rotten husband am I..."

Gemini watched him carefully. "You're not. I'll stop that train of thought right there."

His lips were pursed tight, puffing his moustache.

"Can I be honest with you?"

His eyes slid to her. 

"When I first met you, I was surprised to hear you and Carla were a couple."

He shrunk back, sneering. "Is this s'pposed to be helpful?"

"But the more I get to know you both," she interrupted him, "the more I know you are absolutely perfect for each other.".

He lost eye contact, his tense form relaxing somewhat.

"You both are so strong, and you complement each other in so many ways. I know you get caught up in your duties, and Carla gets really focused on her work at the farm—but whenever I see the two of you together 'off-duty', you are an incredibly sweet couple." She scooted closer when he remained unmoved. "And I haven't given up hope that you'll have a baby one of these days."

Thomas sighed and turned away. "I think yer a mite too hopeful. With as long as Randy had to wait, and how long Vic and Adrien and the others are still waitin'... boy, I don't know how she'll take it if it never happens. I feel so helpless, sometimes." He paused, biting his bottom lip. "I feel so helpless a lot of the time."

"Just keep talking to each other and praying together. That helps a lot."

Thomas tensed again.

Gemini narrowed her focus on him. "Have you talked to Carla about how you feel?"

His befuddled expression clearly stated his answer.

She squared herself up with him, despite his continued attempts at shrugging her off. "You've told me all this and you haven't told your own wife?"

His hesitance instantly shifted to indignation. "What was I just sayin'—I don't wanna burden 'er with this!" He thrust out his hands. "That's the last thing I wanna do! This ain't her problem—I've given 'er enough problems!!"

"Hey!" Despite trying to prevent him, she was forced to allow him to break away, though his pacing didn't get him far before his footsteps slowed to a stop. She grimaced and glanced aside. "I'm sorry—I didn't mean to upset you," she tried, calmer.

She waited to see if he would respond or turn around, but he did neither. Thomas simply remained where he was; his boots stiffly planted in the grass. 

"I'm grateful you feel you can trust me with this. And, I hope you know, you always can."

Thomas' eyes opened, though he remained turned away.

"I don't mind being someone you can talk to, but I do think anything you tell me, you should be able to tell her." She crossed her arms, tilting her head as she watched the young man shift on his feet.

"What'm I supposed to say?"

"Everything you just told me: that you recognize how much she's hurting, and you feel bad about how your job often takes you away from her... that balancing being a mayor and being a husband is a struggle for you just as much as wanting to be a mother is a struggle for her." When Thomas didn't reply, she glanced down at her own boots. "Hudson and I aren't even married, but we tell each other everything. And I think that's one of the biggest reasons I don't have my nightmares anymore. That, and finally letting go of my past and being forgiven."

The man's eyes returned to the sky as he drew in a deep breath, and his entire form sunk as he released it. He then turned his head over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of the Aravasti woman behind him. There was something different about her, though he couldn't place exactly what. Perhaps it was the knowledge of her bloody past—and her struggle to overcome it—or perhaps her openness to share and receive more personal information after years of being closed. Whatever the case, he did feel he could trust her, and he appreciated her being his friend.

"I'm glad yeh found a better path to be on," he admitted after a moment.

"Me too," she took a small step forward. "I have many reasons to be grateful for this new life. And I am very grateful for you, too."

His eyes shut. He sucked in another breath and turned the rest of his body around. His posture had loosened, and his arms hung limp at his sides. When he opened his eyes, they were both strained and thankful. 

"'Cause, seriously; who else is going to keep me on my toes like you do?" She found a smirk.

He huffed and rolled his eyes, and after ducking his head, he stepped toward her with purpose.

Gemini pressed her lips tight, accepting Thomas's arms as he grasped her in grateful embrace.

"Thank you, fer... fer listenin'," he muttered as they stepped apart.

"As the Mayor of Westfall, you don't need me to tell you what to do," she set her hands on her hips.

"But, as my friend, I need yeh to challenge me," he at last found a smile. "I know what I gotta do when we get back."

She set a hand on his shoulder, and soon, the two made their way back to their mesquite tree-covered camp. Thomas climbed back into his sleeping bag and laid on his back, letting his eyes fall shut with a sigh. 

Gemini gave a glance to their teammates as she did the same. Randall was once again fast asleep, but she thought she noticed Victor's eyes blinking shut when she scanned his sleeping bag. She rolled to her side, removed her glasses, and settled back to sleep.